Not Invited

When I was in high school, I was a “good” girl. I didn’t drink, didn’t smoke. I made good grades and obeyed my parents. I had a lot of friends, but I wasn’t always invited to things. I specifically remember the time when I had asked my best friend to spend the night. She told me her mom had said no. And that was all fine and dandy . . . until I found out that she had lied to me. She didn’t want to sleep over because she had gone to a party. And I was not invited.

Even at the time, I knew I wouldn’t have gone to that party. But it still hurt to be excluded and lied to. Funny, isn’t it? That we bemoan the fact that we weren’t asked to do something we know very well we would never do anyway?

Things haven’t changed much. There are gatherings and events that I am conspicuously not invited to. And it still hurts. My mind starts to wonder, why am I not invited? Am I too preachy? Too religious? Too “good”? Am I not nice? Not fun? Not “cool”? I realize that sometimes people know I wouldn’t like the drinking, or some of the joking or conversations . . .   I know that sometimes they know we may not be able to afford it—or choose to spend our money that way . . .   

I do want to be careful to not dismiss the first questions too quickly.  I know that sometimes I push the God thing hard. Maybe too hard. Or not . . .?  And I still struggle with being judgmental, for sure.  Funny thing is, my judgement has swung from those who keep doing things they shouldn’t do . . . to those who aren’t doing the things they should.  Bottom line is that if I am not being kind or loving, I am not representing Christ well.  It’s such a balance—being “nice” and “fun” and standing for truth and God’s will.  “Nice” and “fun” can have very different meanings to different people.  I am reminded, we are to be in the world, but not of the world. I resolve to be as kind and loving as I can be when I am invited.

Lord, please convict me if I need to change my ways.  But if it’s something they wouldn’t invite you to, I guess it’s okay if I am not invited.

“Blessed are you when people hate you,

when they exclude you and insult

you and reject your name as evil,

because of the Son of Man.”

Luke 6:22 NIV

“I have given them your word and the world has hated them, 

for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world.”

John 17:14 NIV

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world,

but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

Romans 12:2a NIV