Advent: Waiting Expectantly

To the Board,

I have had some time to reflect on the events that have unfolded, and I just wanted to say a few words in parting. First, even though we have not had much of a chance to really get to know one another, I hope that each of you knows that I have always been passionate about the camp and what I believe God wants to do there. And I hope that each of you knows that I believe that all of us—the entire board, the staff, and myself—were all called to be here, for this time. And so this has been difficult. Confusing . . . And in my reflections over this past week or so, and with the help of some amazing friends who have helped me to see past my own hurt or feelings of rejection, I have come to some powerful insights that I wanted to share.

As you know, I have felt so confident that I was following God, doing his will. I was seeing him all the time and stood in awe at the amazing things that only he could orchestrate. I couldn't help but tell everyone all that I had seen and heard! I was so sure that he had led me here and that he was prepared to do a mighty work. But I'm afraid I had written my own ending to the story.

It occurred to me, the disciples were literally following Jesus. They were seeing him at work all the time, doing the amazing things that no one else had ever done before. They couldn't help but share all that they had seen and heard. They were so sure that this was the Messiah, that he had come to redeem Israel! But they had written their own ending to the story as well.

So, when I was informed that it had been decided to “terminate our relationship,” I was simply stunned. I felt like the disciples must have felt as they saw their Messiah hung on a cross. As they sat behind locked doors wondering what had just happened and what were they supposed to do now . . . I, too, have been sitting, pondering, wondering what just happened and what am I supposed to do now.

And yet, in that Easter story, Jesus shows up in that locked room. He had a different ending to the story! A much grander one! More than the disciples could have ever asked or imagined. He would indeed redeem Israel—not only from Roman opposition, but from their sin! Cleansing them so that all who believe may have eternal life in the presence of a holy God. And so, I walk in trust. God will show up. He has the real ending to the story. And I trust that it is more than we could ever ask or imagine.

What I have been reminded of in this confusing time is that God is good, he is sovereign, he is faithful. Who am I to question this “bump in the road”?! I will continue to follow where he leads, and whether this trail eventually leads back to this camp or if our paths diverge and we go our separate ways, I trust that he will lead us to a glorious destination. More than we could ever ask or imagine! And so, I wait expectantly. In this season of advent, I once again wait expectantly for Jesus to make a way!

Thank you for the faith you showed in providing for my position as long as you did. I have grown so much and learned so much as I have been allowed to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit. I hope that I, in some way, have contributed to the mission of this place as well. I pray that the board retreat went well, that God gave you clarity and direction, and that you have peace as you move forward on this journey. May God go with you and bless you!

In Christ's service,

Kaia

“And who knows but that you have

come to your royal position for

such a time as this?”

Esther 4:14b NIV

“(They still did not understand from

Scripture that Jesus had to rise

from the dead.)”

John 20:9 NIV

“On the evening of that first day of

the week, when the disciples were

together, with the doors locked for

fear of the Jewish leaders, Jesus came

and stood among them and said,

“Peace be with you!””

John 20:19 NIV