Manna and Quail

I was raised to have a very strong work ethic. I had chores and responsibilities from the time I was very young. I got a job almost as soon as I was old enough. I would babysit and clean houses, I had a paper route. I got my first horse in seventh grade and was responsible for all its care—buying tack, paying vet and farrier bills, feed and board. By the time I was 16, I think I had three jobs . . . to “support my habit!” I was raised with the biblical principles, “If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat,” “Go to the ant, you sluggard,” “Whatever you do, do it heartily,” “In all toil there is profit, but mere talk tends only to poverty.” And I am grateful for that upbringing. It has served me well.

But on this journey, from Pharisee to Follower, God was teaching me new things, as well. As in so many things, it’s not always black and white—there is no formula. When you are following, the rules may change. 

Homegrown or Take-Out?

For example, think of the hard work it takes to get food. There is the clearing of the land, the plowing, the planting, the weeding, the watering, the harvesting. Genesis 3 makes it pretty clear, “Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat food from it all the days of your life. It will produce thorns and thistles for you, and you will eat the plants of the field. By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return.” And since the Fall, man has been laboring for his food. 

Yet, then there is the time where God literally rained food from heaven! Exodus 16 says, “I will rain down bread from heaven for you,” “At twilight you will eat meat, and in the morning you will be filled with bread. Then you will know that I am the Lord your God.” As the Israelites were following God to the Promised Land, he provided all their needs!

So, while I am thankful for a hard, Midwestern work ethic, God has been showing me new things. As I have been following God, he has provided—in the most amazing ways!  

Building on Baby Steps

Early on, I tipped my hat to God for the little ways in which he would meet our needs. The time our car broke down—when we were broke—and we got that dividend check from our utility company, from three addresses ago! The way a bonus check would come in just as it was time to fill the propane tank, and we had nothing set aside. So many little ways that God was faithful to provide. And I was thankful.

Then, as I began to follow in earnest, I began to see him in ways I would have never imagined. When I quit my job as a research scientist and CEO, our income was reduced—drastically. I had some leave time that was paid out to me, which gave us a little cushion for a while. But then, it became a walk of faith. I did not know where my next check would come from. I felt so called to begin the horse ministry, but I had no idea where a salary might come from anywhere in the near future.

We had tried to do the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace thing once before—and failed miserably. This time we had to take it seriously.  We were running on a pretty slim budget. God let us sit in that frugality long enough to develop some really healthy financial habits when he suddenly dropped a little manna and quail. Well, quite a bit of manna and quail! I received a settlement when the biomedical company we had started was sold out to a buyer. It would be enough to get by on, plus some! As I joined forces with HorsePower, the established reputation of the existing nonprofit made it much easier to raise funds for my salary. After some rough patches in the beginning, I was soon drawing a steady paycheck. 

Faithful to the Faithless

When God asked me to step out in faith, once again, I entered another period of uncertainty. Like the Israelites in the desert, I was longing for the leeks and cucumbers and the pots of meat back in Egypt—the comfortable familiarity and security of a job and a paycheck, even though I had been in bondage to it! Yet, then the most unlikely thing happened. What seemed like a trial, quickly turned to blessing. Our basement flooded while we were away on vacation! But our grown children capably managed everything—from dragging everything up out of the basement to meeting the insurance guy at the house to make the claim estimate—and we returned to a physical check in our mailbox . . . for $5,000 more than we needed to make the repairs. Even though we tried to return it to the insurance company, they assured us that it was ours to keep. It was my first “paycheck” for my new assignment. Signed at the bottom, “Love, God.”

As I wandered from breadcrumb to breadcrumb—serving at this ministry, volunteering there—I was always blessed to have “enough.” My husband was a supportive and capable provider. People God had brought along on this journey were generous with their gifts of support. My church came alongside with a donation. 

Even though God was faithful, there were times when I was not . . .  Sometimes, a little doubt or fear would begin to settle in. I think of Peter, walking on the water—and then looking at the waves . . . and beginning to sink.  Even as I had been walking on water—I would begin to look at the waves . . . and start to sink.

When I was with a small apologetics ministry, there was such a time. We operated under the concept of deputation—each was responsible to raise their own support for their mission work out in the field. We each had a “bucket” where our gifts could be placed . . . and mine was empty. I was feeling a little desperate and like I needed to do something. Another evangelist told me about how he had been able to make some good money donating plasma. I thought, perfect! I could just use the time I spent donating plasma as my times of meditation . . . being still with the Lord. And I would be helping to save lives, I justified. I went through the entire application and screening process, only to find out I couldn’t donate. My veins weren’t big enough! The very next day, I learned there had been a $1,000 gift made in my name . . . from someone in Florida?! I didn’t even know them. A gentle reminder that I didn’t need to worry, and I didn’t need to strive. God is great, and God is good.

Deferred Expenses

Sometimes my “income” didn’t come in the form of cash or checks, but rather in the form of deferred expenses. I drove a twenty-year-old car with more than 250,000 miles on it. The check engine light and a couple others had been on for more than half of those miles. This wasn’t really a new phenomenon for my husband and I, but usually we would put black electrical tape over the warning lights so we wouldn’t have to look at them. This time, we left them lighting up the dash. It was a constant reminder of how God was looking out for us. Our mechanic got a new technician who asked if we realized our transmission was going out . . . to which he replied, “Oh, they know. It’s been that way for like 100,000 miles!” An expense that never came to be. That car kept running like the Energizer bunny. And when we sold it, God gave us more than twice what we had hoped to get for it.

Deferred Compensation

And then, there was the big kahuna. It still gives me goose bumps to share this story. I had left the Christian camp and been given the vision for a women’s ministry, Chrysalis, but I had no idea when or how. Whether it really was a season of “tent-making,” like the apostle Paul prior to receiving his support from the local churches, or out of my own doubts and fears, I was working at several part-time gigs. That small apologetics ministry—deputational, with largely an empty bucket. Another part-time job—only 10 hours a week that utilized my Ph.D. training and actually paid quite well. But it wasn’t long before I realized, while I could do it . . . I couldn’t do it. I was capable, but my heart was just not in it. And then there was yet another ministry—a small nonprofit with a mission to activate disciples. I was working half-time with them. I loved the mission and I loved the people I worked with, but it wasn’t my mission. This wasn’t my assignment.

I remember the day I realized I had to step away like it was yesterday. I had informed my boss that, as much as I believed in what they were doing, I needed to pursue the call God had placed on my heart. I needed to pursue this ministry that would love on these women I had come to love so much. He was so gracious. He asked if I needed a little runway . . . maybe stay on, but work fewer hours . . . at least until I got the other up and going . . .? While that sounded safe and comfortable, I knew I had to say no. I remember saying, “That is so kind, but I know I have to just be done. I have to go where God is leading.  God will provide.”

I no sooner left that meeting and got to Walmart where I needed to pick up a few things, when I received a phone call. It was from the attorney that I had reached out to about forming the non-profit, Chrysalis. He was with the same firm that had handled the patents, licensing, and ultimate sale of the biomedical company we had formed, PhotoBioMed. We had been playing a bit of phone tag for a couple weeks, at least.  So, the timing was interesting . . . to say the least.

What he said next made my head start to spin . . .  He was confirming that I had worked for PhotoBioMed, and he was asking, “Do you have deferred compensation coming?” My mind had to process what that even meant – deferred compensation . . . delayed payment . . .?! I thought to myself, “Well, I hope so! I just quit my job!”

It was as though God had arranged for my salary even as I worked up the courage to step out in another bold “yes” for him! Turns out, when this guy had gone to visit with the attorney who had worked with me on the corporate side, the other attorney had made the comment, “That’s funny. I need to give her a call on some PhotoBioMed issues,” pointing to a sticky note on his desk with my name on it. Apparently, they had had a board meeting a couple days before. They wanted to talk to me about the incentive agreement I signed with them upon leaving. Long story short, ten minutes after I quit my job, saying God would provide, I found out I would be getting money from a job I had quit ten years earlier—and it would cover my salary for a year! God just kept getting bigger . . . and I was getting tiny!

Faithful to Follow

So, I am still thankful for my work ethic, and there may be times of tent-making for sure. Times where I may be asked to work so that I can provide the gospel for free. But there are also times where I will rest in him and trust in his provision. If I am following him and he asks me to step out in faith, he will provide the manna and the quail. After all, a worker is worth his wages. So, you see, the Bible is clear . . .  that it is unclear.  Sometimes we must work.  Sometimes we must trust.  Always, we must follow.

“Cursed is the ground because of you;

through painful toil you will eat

food from it all the days of your life.”

Genesis 3:17b NIV

 “I have heard the grumbling of the

Israelites. Tell them, ‘At twilight you

will eat meat, and in the morning you

will be filled with bread. Then you

will know that I am the Lord your God.’”

Exodus 16:12 NIV

“We remember the fish we ate in Egypt

at no cost—also the cucumbers,

melons, leeks, onions and garlic.”

Numbers 11:5 NIV

“And my God will meet all your

needs according to the riches

of his glory in Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 4:19 NIV

 “So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall

we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’

or ‘What shall we wear?’ . . .  But

seek first his kingdom and his

righteousness, and all these things

will be given to you as well.”

Matthew 6:31,33 NIV