Meeting in the Hallway

We come from different places. Each of us, really. Our world may have more similarities with some people than others, but even then . . . we each come from our own, unique place. It’s like our own room, our private room. Our childhood, our families, our friends, our spouses, our co-workers and bosses. Our home, our school, our workplace. Every one of those people and each of those places brings experiences and interactions that are unique, to us. We keep all those interactions and experiences—and our responses to them—tucked away in our rooms. We get to decide who gets to see in our room. Some leave the door wide open. Others put up the Do Not Disturb sign.

We meet in the hallway. We emerge from our rooms and mingle with others—at school, at work, at Walmart. We choose how we portray ourselves, we choose how we see others. Some wear a tight-fitting mask, choosing a façade to hide who they really are. Others are transparent, with a window to their very soul.

For most of my life I spent almost all my time in my room or the hallway. I chose a nice mask that I donned as I left my room to convey to others that I had it all together. In the hallway, I could be quick to judge others. With just a glance, I was certain I had them pegged. I knew what kind of people they were . . .

As I ran on the hamster wheel, I didn’t have time to knock on any doors. To see who might let me into their room for a visit. I just ran through the hallway and then retreated to my room. And then, when God finally got me to get off the hamster wheel, I suddenly found myself with time to sit. To simply be. I realized I had been a human doing when God created us to be a human being! In that space of slowed time, of stillness, I began to see people. Rather than quickly judging, I was finding time to sit with others over a cup of coffee, or an open Bible, or to take a walk in a park together . . . and I began to let my mask loosen. I even dared to take it off at times. And people began to let me into their rooms.

Some rooms were hard to enter. Some things were hard to hear. But I grew closer to those people more quickly and with a depth and richness that I hadn’t had with many others—even people I had “known” my whole life. And I came to realize that I had been wrong. Probably almost every time. I didn’t have the people in the hallway “pegged.” That girl at school that got labelled the fast floozy . . . when I was invited into her room, I found no love. So, she was trying to find it in the hallway. The quarrelsome board member at work who seemed angry about everything . . . when I was invited into her room, I came to discover she had suffered numerous miscarriages, was never able to bear a child, and she was on the verge of divorce. The guy at Walmart with the tattoos, and the foul mouth, and the baggy pants that threatened to drop to his ankles at any time . . . when I was invited into his room, I realized his mother had abandoned him, his dad was a Vietnam vet crushed by PTSD and numbed with medications. He had been left to fend for himself since he was a very little boy. Maybe we should try to peek past people’s masks or, better yet, be invited into their rooms before we put them in a labelled box . . .

I was recently in a conversation with someone (who could have absolutely been me, earlier in my life) and I listened to her “peg” the people in the hallway. I heard quick judgments and opinions and a diatribe of what they should do and what should be done about them. I found myself so defensive! My heart ached for my new friends. I thought, “How dare you judge them! You haven’t been in their room!” I wondered if her opinion would change if she realized that prisoner she so quickly judged had been duct-taped to the floor of the closet as a toddler so his mom could go out drinking. I wondered if she would have more grace and compassion for that prostitute if she knew that she had been shown pornography as a 5-year old as they groomed her for the sex industry.

As I found myself reeling from her rant, I heard a voice of caution trying to be heard over my own defensive diatribe that I was getting ready to launch in response. I realized I tread on dangerous ground. I teetered on the verge of hypocrisy. I had this opinionated woman “pegged.” And I had never been in her room. We were merely meeting in the hallway. Maybe I will ask her to coffee . . .

“Be still, and know that I am God.”

Psalm 46:10 NIV

“Be still before the Lord and wait

patiently for him; fret not yourself over

the one who prospers in his way, over

the man who carries out evil devices!”

Psalm 37:7 NIV

“Do not judge, or you too will be

judged. For in the same way you

judge others, you will be judged,

and with the measure you use,

it will be measured to you.”

Matthew 7:1 NIV

“Above all, love each other deeply,

because love covers over a multitude

of sins. Offer hospitality to one

another without grumbling.

Each of you should use whatever

gift you have received to serve

others, as faithful stewards of

God’s grace in its various forms.”

1 Peter 4:8-10 NIV